OhSnapz blogg

We live in a period of inhumanity where most of the people around you define you for the concrete things you've got, and if you aint got enough... You'll surely be having a hard time being seen for the good things you have to share. Motivation, cheering laughs, tight hugs, real smiles and good times, to feel solidarity and have a loyal fellowship.. Those things should be prioritized in my opinion. Because now the only thing we're doing is making up a perfect community, but give it a thought.. A community does not have a soul, it will never tell us when it is satisfied. Time passes, centuries pass.. And human are only trying blindly to improve what we've got because there isn't anybody letting us know that we've got enough. I cannot claim that we wouldn't need any of the industries and technology and such, but this greed of a 100% ''fast & easy'', materialized lifestyle, where everything comes to you without you making an effort.. It is tearing the world in pieces, and apart from the community, our earth lives, I believe there is some kind of soul or life source keeping it alive. And it will, for sure, tell us when we've taken too much!
Think about satisfying yourself in a good way instead, because the only wealth that can be carried to the grave is a peaceful mind and a life story without regrets of what you didn't accomplish. You're time is now, wake up!

''Tomorrow you will be the result of what you did today, live up to your dreams and there will never be a day to regret.''

I'm strong, my mind is next to impossible to hurt, but it also made my feelings next to impossible to touch.. I am happy for being so aware of everything as I am. But at the same time, it restricts a lot of ''suspense'' from my life as I know and analyze everything too well.. I've clearly had too much time by myself to think, and too little people to share with.. My way of thinking allows me to be really confident in myself and what I do and creates me a huge defensive ego, altho I'm really afraid of approaching others.. I don't know measures for my discomfort when getting involved in someone else's business or making changes in their lives altho I'd love to.. It feels a little like my mind would be blocking new people from coming to my life because I'm so afraid of hurting them or affecting them in some negative way.. Like my defensive ego didn't only defend me, but it also defends others from me. I have a inkling of this having to do with how I was treated and manipulated by authorities as a younger kid, given the thought that I was bad company for everyone in my age.. Because I was a fighter for my rights and stood steady like a mountain over my opinions and arguments, I was a rebel if someone tried to feed me lies or abuse their rights over me. Sadly knowing the situation and causes in and out doesn't clear my mind from these bugs biting me apart.. Which is the only thing I cannot accept nor live with.. I'm trying to make it change day after day, trying to bind more relationships as I now know there's nothing wrong with me. But altho it all goes well and I can find friends and have a great time with people I get the feeling of the situation being awkward and fake after a while as the ''ego'' invades my thoughts.. With its ''protecting others from my anarchist'ish way of living''. It's like my consciousness would be whipped and teared in pieces if I influenced someone with my life.. This might be some real deep thinking and writing and I surely don't expect anyone to know how I feel nor do I want them to treat me differently, I only wish for them to be aware of who I really am and why I am this way. I really do care about everyone in my life, I love and accept you for who you are no matter if there would be things we'd disagree about. But unless you will show me your acceptance and appreciation for me being in your life I might really easily get struck by the facts authorities fed me and I'll automatically distance myself from you.. I fear fighting for someone because I'm afraid to make them uncomfortable.. So what I want to point out is that if you like me then let me know that we're fighting for our relation together, my hand chained to yours and yours to mine and I assure you we will have great times together.<3

&#8206;''You make me feel like a marionette held my an epileptic. I am bouncing around with my body uncontrollable and the only thing I know and care about is that I'm bound to you! :)'' Goodnight to all you purdy people in my life &#9829;

I'm used as a tool, I'm taken as a fool.. For giving respect I'm classed desperate, for being here for friends I'm only abused to make ex'es jelly.. Fuck all kind of relationships, no one is to be trusted anymore.. Gräver ner mig under en sten ._. cya da's!

Måndag, tillbaka till skolan efter ett mer än grymt bra veckoslut med underbara personer.
Det som gör måndagen jobbig är dock att jag inte höll på att få sömn igår kväll på grund av att jag hade tungt att andas, om jag koncentrerade mej på nåt annat så andades jag inte.. Är som att min motorik för att andas har försvunnit och jag måst fokusera på det hela tiden :( och dessutom känns mina lungor ihop krympta och små, så får knappt nån luft i mej. Och nej, jag är inte en kedjerökare, har aldrig ens dragit ett bloss från en tobak. Va är det som händer? :'c

Roses are red
violets are blue
vodka costs less
than dinner for two

Har ni någonsin blivit bländade av ett leende? Så att man är rädd för att se på det för länge för man blir paralyserad? Jag har inte svårt med ögonkontakt, och jag brukar le till folk, men hon var tydligen precis som jag.. Jag kunde bara inte.. Jag tvingades se bort, hon var bara allt för vacker för att vara sann! Ja det handlar om en tjej jag träffade under veckoslutet och var med en hel del, och ju bättre jag lärde känna henne destu mer perfekt var hon.. Kan bra vara att jag bara drömmer.. Kallad till utopist, kanske det var en ängel men kanske inte min tur idag, vet bara inte, nej! Nu skall jag inte ge upp och bli deprimerad för att ha sett nåt så vackert utan att ens försöka få tag i det! Hon såg ju mig i ögonen.. Log till mig som ingen lett till mig innan, hon kan inte ha tyckt illa om mig heller.

Ja kom på att de finns vaikka huru mycke som helst ti göra runt omkring, man ska int tappa lusten ti leva innan man ha fått känna friheten!
Va på massage ida, o massören to me våld o vred upp alla stenspända muskler i min nacke o rygg så att ja efteråt va rädd att röra på mej nä ja va så vig åt alla håll.. Fick en känsla av att allt de gamla tråkiga klämdes ur, o en känsla av massa nya möjliheter o hopp. :)

The adrenaline is constantly flowing through my veins. I fight the shadow in the dark as it rains. I get so exhausted but I can't stop.. It keeps flowing and flowing till the very last drop.. I stand up straight as I begin to feel dizzy, once again the shadow won, it took over the place and suddenly I was gone. I fainted out I think, or maybe it had been my last fight.. The fight against myself, the lies, regret and fear, hidden under my shadow that brought me here. I simply couldn't accept myself as I was, I had to be more, more than I had potential to be! Now where should I go, it's so hard to find honesty and love again, and like this… I can't live with myself. Shame is all over me, I regret being so false, I fear being unseen, I want to be loved. But how should I forgive myself? The mystery is universal, but the answer is clear; Go out there and be real, show people who you are, big, small, shady or a rockstar. Our shadows are who we are, one of the rare things we can not delete nor trade. You decide whether it's a criminal or a cop. Another important factor is forgiveness, evil deeds are not forgotten but written over by doing right. So cheer up, stand up, and smile!

Pain is temporary, but giving up is forever. Taking the pain makes you stronger, aware of different situations and more knowing, and in the end, happy. But giving up is like extending the duration of the pain so that it becomes a slow torture which is to tear you apart. Once you've chosen to give up you have to reach the same point at where you gave up to get over it. Unless you do that, the feeling of failure and disappointment in yourself will appear every time you think of a goal or a dream to reach. Every moment is unique if you think of all the possible ways of spending them, so don't let fear or hesitance affect your choices. There is no other wealth to take with you when you abandon life but only a satisfied mind the moment before.

•Emotions, open mind, inspiration, dedication•