Nikitas blogg

I had a dream tonight,
Trying to save a girl,
After a long fight.

Against a man thougher then me,
But i ran at him,
And hitting his knee,
He fell rocksolid to the ground,
And now she was free.

One more came at me,
Carrying a gun,
With bullets with my name,
She just kept running on.

I stood in the way of his will,
And he shot to kill,
I fell to the ground,
Hitting it so hard,
Hearing her footsteps in the background.

I just bled from my chest,
Leaving a pool of blood,
But it all was for the best,
I dident care about the rest.

The poor girl survived,
Not me tho,
I was never revived...

You will never recognize,
Me in my new disguise.

All the scars you left on me,
So I will forever be,
The one you wouldn’t see.

You saw someone hanging in a tree,
but you didn’t see,
that it was me.

You just stood there and stared,
and you weren’t aware,

That it was you who hung me there,
so you just continue to stare,
but you didn’t care,
it was me hanging there.

You wouldn’t miss me at all,
because I was the one to make you fall.

I’ll keep hanging in the tree,
Wishing that I could be free.

"A new day with friends"

A new day is aching, and we all are waking.

Pay attention to the little things, that could change your day,
is what i want to say.

But dont take your friends for granted,
they could save your life someday.

Lone is strong is just a myth, tho we all need some time alone,
But like the rest, we try our best just keeping us alive.

Survival of the fittest they say,
But why cant we stay, just for a moment,
helping eachoder with our lifes,
Cus iv seen it in everybodys eyes.

We need friends to make the day,
Am i wrong to say,
That you are willing to pay,
Some time of the day,
Just to make everything okey?

This is the story of my life.
Making it all hard to belive, i wear my heart on my sleeve.

Every step i take, every move i make,
Is for my own sake.

Where manipulation becomes everyday,
ill stay the same, and what a shame,
I will never lose the game

Come and get me if you can,
make free for my head,
cuz im tired of all the lies they fed,
Into your mind and all from behind.

So cover your ears and sew up your eyes,
cuz they will get you despise,
all the effort put into the lies.

I will never regret,
The choices iv met,
And tho the lies i saw the fucking spies.

I will make them pay,
They will have nothing to say,
now any day.

Please forgive me,
for being thi,
who tells you of the world,
with only darkness to be seen,
you know what i mean.

For all who thinks the world is a happy place,
Uv all been feed with lies.

So start making a difference,
and stop being a witness,
To cruelty and brutality,
dont make it brake your mentality.

Make the world a better place,
so we all can face,
the darker times,
with all the other spies.

//RazorCross
Writing time: 31min

"My angel, my humblebee"My cute little angel, with wings of pain.
Your eyes are made of emeralds,

And not in vain, you save us from desperation,
Our little insperation.


And For that we'll stay greatfull, and forever faithfull,
For you to see, my little humblebee.

It kill's my heart to see you in pain,
But you are everything but plain.

So fly my angel, my hublebee,
And see the things that you will be.

--------------------------

"Your's only"Obsession of the possesion of the unknown,
You innocence os everything but known.

Where people see you as a butterfly,
you are in a cocoon.

As people try to see your colours,
They think is maroon.

But as a chameleon you change what they see,
and what you will be, Its everything but free.

But you have me, your sworn protector, your savior,
your power, that is our to use, you're the one i chose.


-----------------------

"Please be mine"
As you can see, you are everything to me,
You share my way of life, you cut through it like a knife.

The four cycles of separation,
That drives us to desperation.

But one day we'll be free,
my little humblebee.

Could you imagine being with me?


-------------


"An angel divine"With roses it her hair, she stepps down from above,
and show the world the true mening of love.


Innocent angel with virgin wings,
focusing on the little things.


Making them belive,
That she will never leave.


She'll stay here forever,
and she will never, bring pain and despair,
on this world of pair.


But new to the world,
seeing with her virgin new born eyes.
She doesent know about the spies.


That will cause her to in vain, see the pain that cripples,
even the most pure of angels.


But dont be scared, you are not alone,
the world has seen the deeds you've done.


Just promise that you divine salvation,
Will come as insperation.


--------------

Kärlek, möjligen bara en påhitt folk säger?
Att man säger att man älskar någon binder man som ett kontakt med personen att du är denns.
Kan kärlek vara någontng inlärt? Eller en biprodukt av våran utveckling? Kan det vara så att våra grundinstinkter, överlevnad och förökning är anledningen? Att vi kom på kärlek för människan är sån och vill ha namn på saker och vill ha tro?

Kan då kärlek vara en biprodukt av människans utveckling? Då igentligen förhållanden innan äktenskap och förökning är överflödiga?

Vårat undermedvetna är starkt nog att faktsikt lura i oss något sånt, särskild om det ingår i uppfostran.

Vad är meningen med kärlek, vad är meningen med något som man i totaltid mår mest Dåligt av?
Är det verkligen så värt det? Eller tror vi så bara för att det är så typiskt att vi "måste" bli kära etc.
Det finns ju saker som vi anser vara ett måste, fast i andra länder låter det bara sjukt.
Kan då det här vara något som bara kom i rätt tid och blev populärt och nu är en del av männskligheten?

Som sagt? En biprodukt? Någonting inlärt? Någonting vi tror är värt, fast egentligen så är det våra instinkter som styr och får oss att tro så?

I just walked 300 hundred miles.

If its okey with you, if i could stay here for a little while?

When i close my eyes all i see is your face.

Bleeding under you eyelids.

Come to rest.

You still believes the lies.

But honestly you are just scared of me.

Now is it me who needs to die? or was it just a lie.

Boys don't cry.

Put back the stars, just for one night.

And make me feel allright.

Lock my arms i dont want to move.

Time is running out.

Hear the footsteps of the night.

You will never see the light.

The total darkness devours me.

I feel the chilly air surrounding me.

Blood red veins on the window tint.

Feel the panic and the fear.

I hear your hushed words echoing in the darkness.

I knew you would turn on me.

The candlelight got blown away.

I dont see anything now, say what u wanna say.

I am not listening anyway.

Cant you see that i am bleeding, begging for some mercy.

I just miss to be rocked to sleep in your lies.

But when i remember who you are, when i remember.

"When everything went wrong" Ny!
What happened? What went wrong?
The love we shared, has unprepared gone missing.
How things could be, forever you and me.
And we are waiting for the crash, to smash this relationship into pieces.
But there is hope, there is light, to save this relationship with holy might.
But what should we do? We have gone lost me and you.
Let us pray, so foreve we shall stay together.
Damn what went wrong, id like to know.
But sleep now, enjoy the night.
Because Nothing Lasts Forever.


"Drawing of the Icecold Razor" Ny
As i am feeling my heartbeat hitting harder and harder over the tought of making myself bleed,
Why do i feel this bizzare emotion to do it, Why?
Taking up the shiney metal piece, my heart starts beating harder.
Why, Why?
*Fast struck, skin ripping, red liquid puring out*
I fall back heavily hitting the ground hard and rocksolid,
The blood aint stopping,
I feel the cold sensation of pain from the red stripes on my wrist,
What have i done....

"Dark love"
To long has mankind’s dreamless lifestyle held you back,
To long have they suppressed the true you, rise up you mistress of darkness, my beloved vampires,
Rise and show everybody the true you! You are more than you would ever dream of, and I will pull out that darkness out of you, I will unleash your blood thirst for power and strength, I will learn you how to be what you was supposed to be, my loved vampires, embrace me into you darkness, I want to be one with you, make me feel your pain, let me dwell in your sorrow, let us show the world the true meaning of dark love.


"The Cruel circle of life"
An eternity spent behind hells gates of oblivion, I am a fallen angel.
My soul is black and my heart is shallow, I am nothing but a dark filled shell.
I was sent to get another life, I was supposed to be renewed,
But a small fragment of my dark me stayed, as I grew bigger so did it, feeding on my dark deeds,
There is no salvation for me, I am only to be sent to oblivion’s gates yet again.
I don’t need a savior, IV accepted my fate.
My life ends by my own two hands and the cruel circle of life is complete, so yet I sleep, one again.

"Deaths sweet Embracement"
I hear the echo of deaths liquid dripping in the darkness surrounding me,
The end is here…
As I slowly walk down the stairs while blood is running down my eyes,
The pill bottle is empty; there are no more pills to swallow…
As I’m embracing death I feel my life essence draining,
I feel the coldness on my shoulder as death comes to greet me,
To take me away into a dark forsaken world,
Where I will remain forever until the end of time,
There’s no sympathy for the dead,
So don’t cry over my spilled life,
I don’t belong here…
Oh my sweet death embrace me!
Make me feel the real pain of love and life,
Tell me you love me death,
Tell me pain I’m forever yours,
And tell me life I will never be yours again…

"Love and fate" <---Ny
What is love, what is life, what is anything that matters?
What is death, what is fate, what is everything but matters?
Is and eternity spent loveless, worth one days happiness?
Is it better to loved and lost, then never loved at all?
What if your fate was to love and lose and nothing more,
What if I was meant to wait until death embraces me into its cold arms.
Insanity comes in different forms, in that way will I become insane?
Where will I cross the line, and how.
oh death come and save me!


"Du, min gudinna"
Om du var solen skulle jag dyrka dig som den gudinnan du är, och skulle jag då få välja mellan dig och evigt mörker, så skulle jag tillbringa den evigheten med dig, för du är min sol, min luft, mitt livs lusta. För vem skulle behöva en sol i himmelen när man har dig bredvid sig. Vem skulle behöva eld när mitt hjärta brinner i passion för dig, vem skulle behöva vatten när dina läppar är så honungs söta, Vem skulle då inte dö bara för att se dig leva.

"Mörkret och ensamheten"
Pojken satt där ensam i sin hörna,
Han ville dö men ingen ville höra,
hans rakblad var hans ända vän,
han ville se blodet rinna,
för att pojken nu skulle försvinna,
han sa förlåt och slöt sina ögon,
pojken föll nu och blodet bara rann,
i sin mörka värld förevigt han försvann.

"Glömda minnen"
Pojken sitter på sin säng med rakbladet i sin hand,
han lägger den mot sin handled och drar,
han gör det om och om, hårdare och hårdare,
plötsligt slutar pojken, i skräck ser han hur blodet forsar,
han tappar bladet ur sin hand, faller sakta i sin säng och sluter ögonen,
blodet fortsätter att rinna och pojken börjar sakta försvinna,
pojken lever inte mer, han är blott ett minne nu,
han sa förlåt men det räckte inte till,
han ville bara att hon skulle förstå hur stark hans kärlek var till henne.


"Coldness at the edge of the knife"
Once upon a time, there was me and all that i loved, then you came into my life.
You seduced me, you poisoned me, you made me turn on all that i loved,
you made me commit the greatest sin of relationship.
After that i just watched, i watched as my life and all that i loved just fell to pices,
I watched and waited, in the little hope i had of that you, would at least be there for me, but infact i was all alone, you who were a childhood friend of mine, you dug that icecold knife right into my back.

"All the things you said"
As the winter passed and now comes a blurry future, my heart is on auction, it goes out to the highest bid.
You won the bid you took my heart, you chewd it up and spit it out, you left me broken, you left me dead.
You left me even tho the things you said.
You said you loved me, you said you cared, and after that you desippeard.

""The shadow of my dreams"
Im running, it's dark, i can barley see where im running, im being chased,
i can see the shadow grow bigger and bigger behind me, coming closer and closer,
i cry out, but its in vain, there nobody there, im all alone, i just keep running,
in desperet hope of salvation, to somone bring me that little candle of hopes light,
so i can atleast se, se the few steps ahead of me.
Now the shadow is surrounding me! I feels its cold, cold grasp on my shoulder,
and as continues to wrap my body, I wake up, it was all just a dream, but it dident matter,
i could have died, and it wouldent matter, it was just a dream, it was just a dream...


"Ensamhet och dårar"
Som man satt där ensam i sin hörna,
I en bubbla där man inget kunde höra,
all den smärta och ångest man var fast i,
Den var bara din att hålla vid i,
man ville skrika man ville försvinna,
man ville blekna bort i dimma,
Man ville bli hörd man ville bli älska,
men allt man blir är bara förälskad,
med kärlek som är obesvarad.
Allt till vilken nytta,
För att alla bara myttar,
Alla bara sårar och försvårar,
Men de är ju bara dårar,
De vet inget om hur livet sårar.

"The Pain of loving you"
Oh the pain
The pain
The pain of love and misery
Depression oh the sweet depression
My wrists are bleeding
My wrists are crying the tears of my heart
Its all for nothing its all for everything
Its all because of you.

"The darkness of being alone"
The darkness in my heart finally came out, it surrounds me.
Im now standing by the ledge, but i cant see it, its too dark, i dont know in what direction i have to turn to save myself, im scared to take the wrong stepp and fall, becuse there is no one the for me, nobody can show me the light, nor the right direction, please sombody save me, cuz i dont want to fall. I need to be saved, but when i reach into the darkness there is noone there, so i fall on my knees crying, hoping that someday, sombody will come and rescue me and save my dark filled heart. I need to be saved but there is nobody there, there is simply nobody there.....so mabye soon, ill will take that last stepp and hope that i took the right one, or i will forever fall down the dark hole i came out from.

"The Forgotten"
Before this great Darkness i stand,
All alone.
The everflowing river of time,
Will wash my name away from the face of the earth,
And all of your memories.
I will be forgoten.
I that will be left is my shadow,
It will be hiding from the divine sun of salvation.

"Lost of souls"
My soul died, all that left is an empty body, that walks this earth, trying despertly to find its soul again, trying to find salvation.
But the soul is long dead and wont comeback, this body needs a seed, a seed of souls that will grow inside,
But there is nobody that can help this soul to ressurect, so this body will walk this world untill its old and rotten.