shit shit shit shit

Done nothing but swedish today. i just want to talk to her, but she has so many people telling her how cute and much they want to be with her all the time. i dont have a single hope in hell. swedish only distracts me for so long. i wrote her something and she cried. she said she hasnt cried in a while.. i dont know if i like that i made her cry, i like that it meant enough. i want to hold her and make her feel whole again. it doesnt help that im so fucking awkward.

Ellens 18 next month, ill have to stand in a room full of people i care nothing about listening to modern shit...

fuck that.