Pride issues
Growing up without a mother was hard.
Growing up with a terrible, drinking father was also really hard.
Growing up with my oldest brother who was rarely home and ditch our family at age 15 (I was 8) was frightening.
Growing up with an abusive older brother really split my mind and messed with my trust.
Through my whole life I've had just one goal.
To find someone i can look up to.
Someone that can tell me how proud they are when i do something awesome.
Someone that helps me correct myself when i do something wrong.
Someone that loves me more than life itself.
People keep telling me to "find inner peace", "be your own best friend", well you haven't spent 5 minutes with my thoughts... ITS SCARY SHIT!
I call myself awful things.
I can hear someone say something nasty and tell myself its about me and its the truth until proven otherwise.
I hurt myself so many times i lost count after 400 or something.
I even tried to take my life away from myself.
Yet here i am because I believe I will find that person one day, no matter what people tell me.
After reading this, do you also feel like telling me to grow up?