Ah... The crappy things about being straight...

- Girls, man... girls...
- You know what would kick ass?
- Being gay?
- Being gay would kick ass!
- Word! Guys understand each other!
- Imagine a relationship but instead of talking about feelings all the time you just eat a pizza, give each other a happy, roll over and have some kung-free shut-eye.
- Bro, for what it's worth, if we were both gay... you'd be my first call.
- Would you mind calling Marshall and telling him that cuz...
- No no no wait! This is just a scenario where just you and I are gay, not Marshall.
- But if all three of us were gay, you'd pick me over Marshall, am i right?
- If all three of us were gay? Girlfriend... We would all three of us have some fun!
- Damn right we would!
- We're not gay...
- Nope! Stuck with girls...