inte igen

inte igen nu kickade ångesten in på högsta växel har knappt kunnat sova på typ hela veckan och jag mår riktigt piss och kan inte riktigt uttrycka hur jag mår vill inte att mina vänner ska tycka synd om en vill inte visa mig så här igen

I?m fortunate to know more good people than most do
I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to
I?m pretty good at like 20 different skill sets
At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I wish this beat hit harder
I wish more syllables rhymed
I know 99 percent of people really don?t mind
I think collaborating forced me to finish things ?cause
I was terrified of wasting famous people?s time

I wish I could focus on what I define priority
I wish I was as grateful as I want to be
I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable
But if I did, I wouldn?t let them waste their time on me while I?m disabled

I feel alone
I know I?m not
I used to talk to lots of people. Lately I?ve stopped
They didn?t deserve it, I?ve been a terrible friend.
I couldn?t bear to let myself become boring to them

I don?t let myself get my hopes up. I love people who do.
Ah, I never know if what I say I feel is the truth
I wish I didn?t instinctively try to be less specific
So more people could relate when they read along with the lyrics

I can be happy in the moment
I am not when I reflect
I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better
I hate it

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt
But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

I can?t predict what I?ll do. I can never be sure
I am terrified of making promises any more