I wish...

I wish I wasn't shy. I wish I had more guts to talk to people, but I always feel like they wouldn't want to talk or anything else. I hate it! But I can't change it. That's just how I am.
I wish I could just go up to someone and talk to them, or talk to them online, or anything else. But why do I always feel like they wouldn't want to? Why am I shy?
Why do I say stupid things? Why do I give dumb advice? Why are my posts so dumb? Why am I always afraid of talking to people? Why can't I say no to my sister? I can say no to everyone else but not to her. Why am I so lazy? Why can't I be active during school? I'm active outside of school. Why? Just why? Why am I so dumb?...